Maysi & PepperMy heart and mind has been turned and occupied a lot this past week with thoughts of my big sister. Where to begin is hard as my thoughts have gone from one extreme to another so I will begin with what she is too me.
She has been an amazing example to me in so many ways, she is kind, outgoing, a good mother, sister, wife, and friend, she is a women of service and many talents, she loves the gospel. I could go on and on forever but my mind has stayed and wondered about her ability to endure trials with amazing resiliency .
I have watched my big sister not just go through one trial but many and various trials throughout her lifetime, which is really my life time as well. I grew up two years younger watching in the background as she struggled through each of her trials that were given to her. On more than one occasion, I have wondered as I do today, why was I left on the outside looking in with no obvious imperfections? Why could I not have carried some of her imperfections for her? Why should she be allowed to carry, and deal with all of them? I remember numerous occasions as a little girl watching my big sister, laying on the couch recovering once again, and wondering when she will be able to come play with me. I have memories of staying at my grandma's house waiting for news of how she was and for her to come home, so I could be home again with her. As we got older I watched as she dealt with varied difficult trails, that I did not quiet all understand but knew that this was hard for her. And I have continued to watch her make it through one thinking all is well to be faced with yet another. My heart has ached for her as it does now, and ache does not even describe what my heart does whenever I think about her and what her heart must feel, is there even a word which could describe how her heart must feel? I do not believe there is.
However, the amazing thing about my big sister, is that she has faced each of these trials for what they are and she is a happy fun big sister! I loved her then as little girls and friends, I loved her when we were in different stages of life, and I continue to love her and look up to her! She has never been negative or a depressing person to be around. She is quiet the opposite, upbeat, undeterred, and fun. It has been an amazing thing to watch each new trial that comes into her life be faced, overcome or "fixed", and another one come again! As I question why her and I get frustrated, I can't imagine how she must feel and I get to the point where I don't know that she will make it through this one here she comes "marching" out with a confidence and faith that is unexplainable! She just starts looking for solutions and I am left in the dust, never really having had to face the trial in the first place shaking my head.
She is my rock! Her testimony has never faltered and she has always known the truth, and has come out of each trial with a stronger testimony and more knowledge because of what she continues to be faced with. And she shares what she has learned and helps me to grow. I think of her and think how much more I need to grow.
So to you big sis, you are amazing, I still question why you, why can't I carry some for you? I question how you can continue to do it? And yet you do, thank you for never giving up, for staying strong. Your strength is my strength. I will never give up on you and the desires of your heart. I carry your desires close to my heart with faith and prayer.
I love ya Pep
She has been an amazing example to me in so many ways, she is kind, outgoing, a good mother, sister, wife, and friend, she is a women of service and many talents, she loves the gospel. I could go on and on forever but my mind has stayed and wondered about her ability to endure trials with amazing resiliency .
I have watched my big sister not just go through one trial but many and various trials throughout her lifetime, which is really my life time as well. I grew up two years younger watching in the background as she struggled through each of her trials that were given to her. On more than one occasion, I have wondered as I do today, why was I left on the outside looking in with no obvious imperfections? Why could I not have carried some of her imperfections for her? Why should she be allowed to carry, and deal with all of them? I remember numerous occasions as a little girl watching my big sister, laying on the couch recovering once again, and wondering when she will be able to come play with me. I have memories of staying at my grandma's house waiting for news of how she was and for her to come home, so I could be home again with her. As we got older I watched as she dealt with varied difficult trails, that I did not quiet all understand but knew that this was hard for her. And I have continued to watch her make it through one thinking all is well to be faced with yet another. My heart has ached for her as it does now, and ache does not even describe what my heart does whenever I think about her and what her heart must feel, is there even a word which could describe how her heart must feel? I do not believe there is.
However, the amazing thing about my big sister, is that she has faced each of these trials for what they are and she is a happy fun big sister! I loved her then as little girls and friends, I loved her when we were in different stages of life, and I continue to love her and look up to her! She has never been negative or a depressing person to be around. She is quiet the opposite, upbeat, undeterred, and fun. It has been an amazing thing to watch each new trial that comes into her life be faced, overcome or "fixed", and another one come again! As I question why her and I get frustrated, I can't imagine how she must feel and I get to the point where I don't know that she will make it through this one here she comes "marching" out with a confidence and faith that is unexplainable! She just starts looking for solutions and I am left in the dust, never really having had to face the trial in the first place shaking my head.
She is my rock! Her testimony has never faltered and she has always known the truth, and has come out of each trial with a stronger testimony and more knowledge because of what she continues to be faced with. And she shares what she has learned and helps me to grow. I think of her and think how much more I need to grow.
So to you big sis, you are amazing, I still question why you, why can't I carry some for you? I question how you can continue to do it? And yet you do, thank you for never giving up, for staying strong. Your strength is my strength. I will never give up on you and the desires of your heart. I carry your desires close to my heart with faith and prayer.
I love ya Pep
Maysi & Pepper
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